Not thᴀᴛ ᴀɴyᴏɴe wᴀs ᴀskɪɴg, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴇs, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ wᴀɴted, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪᴛ tʜᴇ enᴛɪʀᴇ populᴀᴛiᴏɴ ᴏꜰ Hɪᴛmᴀɴ's ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs Sapienza ᴍᴀᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ a sɪɴgle ᴡᴀʟᴋ-ɪɴ ꜰʀᴇᴇzer—ᴀɴd ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴏɴly ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ a lɪᴛtle ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ 7 ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ.
As spotted by Games Radar, streamer RTGame Daniel spent a quarter of a day doing just that. Slowly and systematically, the Mediterranean town's population of over 200 guards, waiters, scientists and tourists were choked out and ferried into the butcher's shop, piled on top of each other in gross defiance of social distancing.
There was a point to all this, of course. This methodical elimination of a small town was all setup for the streamer's real experiment, which was to see whether every NPC in a Hitman stage could be killed with a single shot. While tossing an explosive golf ball into the human Katamari comes close and makes a truly blood-curdling squelch (skip to 8:48:00), it doesn't quite manage the job, owing to what Daniel calls a "meat shield" blocking the damage from applying to all actors.
The endeavour did catch the attention of developer IO Interactive, at least, who appeared equally impressed and distraught by the six-hour affair.
Cool idea 😎Wait! 6 hours?! https://t.co/nKyxZWzSnlJanuary 26, 2021
Now, technically, Daniel did manage to eliminate the two mission targets, though I'd hardly call it Agent 47's most elegant operation. I'd be less impressed with Mr Hitman's sleuthing skills in Dartmoor if it turned he'd just shoved the family in the back of a jeep.
If you're new to the series and want to find your footing as a hairless assassin, Andy K's put together a handy guide on getting started with Hitman. Sadly, it doesn't come with its own 7-hour video tutorial on eliminating a town.